


So's The Dog

by seoyoff



Series: who let these kids have a youtube channel [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: A suspicious lack of youtubing despite this being a youtube au, Angst, For a minute, Jealousy, Multi, Mutual Pining, Shitty Writing, Youtuber AU, i promise there's no bestiality in here that's gross, im dragging this out, no they dont get together in this one either, overuse of the nickname baby girl, overuse of water glasses, trans!alex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-07-24 10:23:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16173170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seoyoff/pseuds/seoyoff
Summary: “Anyway, I’m angry, because Laurens is taking the whole, ‘man’s best friend’, a little too far, because he keeps saying in his videos about how he’s on a date with Alex, and that makes my heart do weird things before I realize he’s talking about that stupid dog again.” Alex crashes into her couch, continuing to moan about his struggles. The couch muffles some, but not all of the ranting-seeing as he has an entire channel that was originally based in ranting, he’s pretty talented at doing it in any condition.In which there's more than one being named Alex, and there's some jealousy, though he won't admit it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so why is alex so short? here's the answer and it's really dumb: I'm 5'3, and have no sense of what height looks like on normal human beings. mostly because my brother's 6'2 and he's??? not that tall compared to me??? or maybe i'm in denial but anyway alex used to be 5'3 but then i thought: wow thats actually kinda creepy so now he's 5'4 which is just about average and not much better but i imagine him being incredibly annoyed that his height is only average
> 
> (edit: after rereading, i realized that I wrote him as 5’3 in the most recent fic, so,,, alex is 5’3.)

“Hey y’all, I’m on a date today with the love of my life,” John pauses for dramatic effect, “Alex.”.

The camera flips to a black lab. Who is, coincidentally, also named Alex, just like the subject of John’s embarrassingly large crush. However, while Alex the Dog is the sweetest pup alive, Alex the Human is, frankly, an asshole. A loveable one, though he'd never admit it. Now, while John wouldn't usually clickbait his viewers by saying he's on a 'date' with Alex, but after the  _situation_  they put him in for one million, he thinks that it's thoroughly justified.

“Anyway, the point is, Alex the Human decided to spill my secret about volunteering at the animal shelter about four months ago, so now I can show off this sweetie without making half-assed excuses about how she’s my sister’s dog or something,”

Alex decides at that moment to start licking his hair, probably ruining the effort that John makes on it. He doesn’t mind though, even if it means he wasted almost an hour that morning trying to make it appear tame. If anyone else tried doing that, he’d probably murder them. But it’s Alex. The dog, to clarify.

Well, maybe the human, who keeps messing it up anyway on movie nights. Or just throughout the day. Any possible moment really, which wasn’t often, because John’s a solid foot taller than him.

“she’s named Alex, about 2 years old, and is sweet, if a bit energetic, unlike that rat I live with, who’s an asshole, and says that walking up the stairs is too  _much_  exercise, Alexander.” He glares at the camera, before gently nudging Alex away from his hair.

He waits a few seconds, before turning off the camera. Makes it easier on him for editing. Now all he had to do was finish this walk, and then he’d get onto finishing whatever other projects he had. Productivity. Alex leaped off the park bench, wagging her tail urgently. That’s usually a signal that she’s tired of waiting around, so John grabs the leash, straightens his jacket, and keeps walking.

Animals are simple. That’s part of the reason why he likes them so much-they love you unconditionally, no matter what sort of horrible things you’ve done, just about as long as you treat them right, because they understand that you’re guilty, and don’t have prejudices of their own to judge you on. Humans are a lot more complicated.  _John_ is a lot more complicated, and in a world where it gets a little too much in his head, simplicity is always welcomed.

 

* * *

 

“Hey Pegs, isn’t your best friend supposed to spend time with you instead of a fuzzy black fourteen-year-old?”

For all of Margarita ‘Peggy’ Schuyler’s wholesome, all forgiving goodness, she’s starting to get tired of Alex barging into her house around 3:15 every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Now, John Laurens posts daily, but those three days are when John’s on walking duty, which means he posts something about Alex the Dog, the two-year-old black labrador who’s much sweeter than her human counterpart. This causes Alexander Hamilton, in true jealous and dramatic fashion, to bust into her apartment and start ranting.

“The 7 year dog year rule isn’t accurate, Alex.”

Take an angry affenpinscher. Or a rat, that works too. Now make it into a 5’3 Caribbean dude who sleeps about 5 hours a night, and that might accurately describe how Alex looked while shooting a truly pathetic death glare. Well, it wasn’t a  _bad_  death glare, per say, but after growing up around  _Angelica’s_  death glares, Peggy's immune to most other attempts.

“Anyway, I’m angry, because Laurens is taking the whole, ‘man’s best friend’, a little too far, because he keeps saying in his videos about how he’s on a date with Alex, and that makes my heart do weird things before I realize he’s talking about that stupid dog again.” Alex crashes into her couch, continuing to moan about his struggles. The couch muffles some, but not all of the ranting-seeing as he has an entire channel that was originally based in ranting, he’s pretty talented at doing it in any condition.

“Babe,  _honestly,_  just talk to him already,” She pours a glass of water, placing it on the coffee table. “it’s been  _ages,_  and  _everyone_  knows he has kind of a crush on you.”

People usually underestimated how close the two of them were. Unsurprising, really. Peggy doesn’t have much of a channel, she’s more focused on the blogging aspect-Tumblr, specifically. The truth is, they confide in each other about  _everything_ , way back since about when Alex and Eliza had dated. Which was, a complete disaster.

Who thought that putting a raging lesbian and bisexual mess who was in love with his roommate together was a good idea? Absolutely nobody, and for that whole relationship to end up fake was more than a mild annoyance. It messed up relationships in the group for  _months._

“But even in the highly unlikely situation where we do get together, there’s always that highly likely chance that I’ll freak him out and drive him away, shattering our entire friend group into pieces because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.” Alex turned his head slightly to face her. “Anyway, that’s why the dog annoys me, and even worse he never shuts up about how Alex learned a new trick today, or how she did the cutest thing ever after lunch, or… Whatever. It never ends. Not to mention, it’s so weird that the dog has the same name I do.”

“You know what also doesn’t end? Your jealous ranting, every other day of the week. You know what’s also weird? The fact that your ranting doesn’t end, even when I’m making ramen naked.”

“I’m not jealous!"

“If that’s what you took out of the conversation, you’re hopeless.”

 

* * *

 

 

Alex’s week of complaining about John was usually structured around every other weekday. However, the day after his talk with Peggy, John busts into the apartment, in true John Laurens fashion. This entails not locking the door (John's reasoning being that he could take anyone who tried to break in, because he's a scrappy idiot), and then neatly hanging up his coat on the stupid coathanger that Lafayette had made for the both of them last Christmas. Apparently throwing their coats haphazardly on the floor and onto the coach was not only a fire hazard, but it also made them into heathens. So of course, John used it, if only because it made Lafayette so happy whenever he saw their coats on it.

This could be interesting.

“Dude, can we adopt Alex?”

Nevermind.

“Laurens, I know you have some kind of daddy kink, but I don’t think adopting me is the best course of action, nor would it be possible, seeing as I’m legally an adult, and therefore in no need of a guardian.” Alex looked up from his book, trying to ignore his head screaming,  _Golly gee, John, can’t you see that I’m completely jealous of this random dog that I’ve only seen in videos, and I’m not completely thrilled by the idea of living with her?_

John chokes on the water he was drinking, spewing water onto the living room floor. A blush rises onto his cheeks from his neck, and maybe somewhere below his shirt collar. He mentally slaps himself-get it _together,_ Hamilton-and it’s a nice contrast from his freckles-Alex, that  _wasn’t_  the point here-Anyway, Laurens is talking again, pay attention!

“God-no, I meant the dog-and I’m not the one with the daddy kink, if anything, your entire personality screams that you like calling people daddy-you’re an idiot, I meant the  _dog_.”

What Alexander Hamilton wouldn’t  _give_  for a camera right now.

Alex didn’t have a camera, but that’s not the important thing right now, because he’s ignoring the elephant in the room. Truthfully, he doesn’t want to that dog to live with them. He’s fine with any other dog, dogs are awesome. Just not that one, and it has nothing to do with John’s ‘relationship’ with the pup. Big black dogs are a sign of danger in Britain or something. Black cats, but black dogs. Also, dogs take work, like any living creature. There. Sound logic.

He looks up at John with his carefully formed answer, and the words shatter in his mouth, because Laurens is putting his puppy dog eyes to full force, and that’s just unfair. Why did he even try coming up with an argument? He’s never been able to say no to John, especially with those stupid puppy-dog eyes, and even though he’s been tipped over beyond saving, he can still drag Laurens down with him.

“Ok,  _Daddy_. Just as long as we don’t call her Alex.”

“That’s the only thing she responds to, _baby girl_ , but sure, I’ll figure something out.”

John laughs, probably due to how fast Alex’s face turned a bright red.

_Shit._

It’s easy to forget that although Alex’s favorite hobby is making John flustered, his roommate is just as good at biting back.

Should that nickname make him blush, coming from his roommate and best friend? Probably not. Does it?  _Absolutely._

When John leaves the living room, probably off to make dinner, Alex frantically rifles through his bag. Specifically, the right pocket, where he keeps his earbuds because after that situation, he needs some song therapy. There’s going to be a dog in his house soon, a dog that Laurens has a tendency to ‘date’.

To clarify, Alex isn’t jealous. He just… Doesn’t like that particular dog. 

 

* * *

 

**Pegstand**

**alex im looking through your spotify history and youve listened to breakeven 237 times in the past week are you ok**

 

**To: Pegstand**

**He asked last week to adopt the dog and I’m trying to cope**

**Also he called me baby girl and I never liked that nickname before but coming from him just makes me blush and ahlfdhsjhld**

 

**Pegstand**

**poor bby do you want to come over?? we’re having soup and i need a distraction from eliza and maria’s stupid adorableness**

 

**To: Pegstand**

**...k i’ll be there in 5**

 

* * *

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alright buzz bitches get ready for the ending of this literal short piece

When Alex arrives at the apartment, his heart’s still pounding, and everyone’s standing on top of the couch. This isn’t inherently unusual-they’re in Peggy’s apartment, after all-but he’d still like an explanation.

Peggy, noticing him, grins. “The floor’s lava, Hamboy, get on top of something that’s not John’s dick.”

Oh, it’s on. He sprints to the couch, jumping up and pushing Peggy off onto the armchair. “Fuck _off,_ Schuyler!”

“I hope you’re not talking about my girlfriend-and might I mention, your _ex_ -when you say that, Ham.” He turns around to see warm brown eyes-Maria. She’s holding a bowl of chicken noodle soup, and despite the jealousy in her words, her tone’s light, and she’s smiling. Eliza comes around the corner with spoons, and she kisses Maria on the cheek before sitting down on the couch. “Damn straight I’m your girlfriend.”

“Don’t you mean, ‘Damn gay’?”

“Stop using outdated phrases, Pegs, it’s not a good look on you.” Another kiss. Gross.

"Save me, Alex, they're being too disgusting!"

Eliza and Maria are sappy as hell and as cute as they are, it gets a lot when you’re lonely as hell and pining to boot. Also, everyone knows (with the exception of Peggy herself) that they play it up around Peggy, just to annoy her. They are sisters, after all.

“Pass me the fucking soup before I die of all 32 teeth in my mouth crumbling from cavities.”

"No."

“You’re gonna spill the soup if you keep wrestling, goddammit!”

They spend the rest of the night binge-watching whatever they find on Angelica’s Netflix account, eating soup, and playing Bananagrams. Alex lost all five rounds, but it’s not because he’s distracted by curly haired boys with black labs, or because he’s shit at Bananagrams, it’s because Peggy’s cheating, you’re not allowed to use proper nouns, goddammit!

The best part of the night, in total, is probably how he forgets all about John’s stupid adorable face and the stupid dog, which is a success in his eyes.

 

* * *

 

 

John’s nervous. Cold, too-it’s been about a month, and October’s settling in fast. He’s still not used to wearing sweaters in October-contrary to popular belief, the southern region of United States is _not_ next to the Equator, and is not warm year round-it gets just as cold down south as it does up north. The real difference is perhaps not _how cold_ , but more of _how fast it gets cold_. Besides, South Carolina is more culturally southern rather than geographically southern. But no matter how fast it’s getting cold, that doesn’t stop his palms from sweating, his heart from beating two counts too fast, or his mind racing with doubts.

Maybe he should’ve talked with Alexander more. Or done more research, surely he’s not completely qualified to take care of a dog. John also knows that for some bizarre reason, Alex doesn’t like the dog, what if Alex moves out because he doesn’t want to deal with the dog?

Or maybe that’d be his excuse to get away from John.

The thought curls around his heart, giving it a tight squeeze. Maybe he could delay the inevitable by not adopting Alex. There’s going to be someday, maybe tomorrow, or in a year, when John can’t keep his mouth shut, and he’s going to burst out that he’s in love with Alexander Hamilton, has been since the day they met, and then Alex will leave because people do that when you randomly confess that you’ve been in love with them for nearly-what now-5 years? Not to mention all the explaining they'll have to do to subscribers and basically everyone else.

Funny turn of events that’ll be. For once, John’ll be the one that runs his mouth.

Perhaps adopting the dog will have a different cause, but the effect is still the same. Alexander leaves, and in one of said effects, John only has the dog to keep him company.

He’s jolted out of his pity party as Alex busts open the door, and all his thoughts race away. For all of his doubts (and John has a lot of them), he knows a couple things that are always real, and that little list happens to include Alexander Hamilton’s adorable, brilliant, smile.

Sure, it's no cure to his longstanding mental issues-that's _not_ how it works _,_ no matter how many dumb romance novels say so. But for all its radiance, Alexander's smile isn't the sun in the sky, but rather the grounding force of its heat on the earth, and in that way, it helped, just a bit, cleared the fog from his head for a moment.

One day, John'll tell him just how much that smile means, because Alexander, with all his own insecurities, deserves to know that he's not terrible, that he's a blessing in everyone's lives.

Alex might’ve wrinkled his nose throughout the past week or so, pouted and rolled his eyes, but as soon as he saw that smile, well.

They'd be alright.

_Goddammit, Alex, how'd you turn me into such a sap?_

 

* * *

 

 

"Junior, fuck off!"

"You know, telling yourself to fuck off is kinda hard, baby girl."

"Fuck you, Laurens!"

"What time?"

"Goddamnit!"

It's November now, and life's pretty good. They're in a park, John's sitting on a bench with his coffee, Alex is playing (or, more accurately, being licked to death) by the dog (they've decided to call her Junior, and she responds to it about 25% of the time, but they'll get there eventually.). Despite all his bitching and moaning, he's really warmed up to her, and John couldn't be happier about it. They've got a dog, eachother, friends, successful channels-and speaking of their channels, neither of them are filming right now, which is a relief, because if anyone caught that conversation they just had, there'd be too much damage control to deal with.

It makes the moment special. Their lives are presented everywhere on the internet, strangers know their middle names, and once, memorably, someone measured their height by comparing them to IKEA furniture in their backgrounds. But this moment, this day, is just their own, and it's great. Fantastic. Beautiful. Serene.

"John, goddamnit, get Junior off of me."

Well, perhaps not the last one, but when you're roommates with a disaster such as Alexander Hamilton, that's just a part of the package.

"First of all, is that any way to treat your boyfriend?"

Alex groans, probably reliving their previous conversation in July. 

"Goddamit Laurens, I was showing off for the camera, but if you want to be like that, I will roast this dog up for Thanksgiving and serve it to you with cranberry sauce."

"You wouldn't dare!"

Alex stuck his tongue out, before retracting it with a look of disgust. The dog was predictably everywhere, and he had gotten fur into his mouth. Which was, in John's ever so humble opinion, a deserving punishment for threatening to cook Junior. Who was, by the way, suspiciously all over Alexander, who she usually wasn't so excited about. 

"Why's she all over you anyway?" John asked.

He doesn't answer, which means it's something he's embarrassed about. If he's embarrassed about it, Alex was probably trying to win over the dog (because he's grown fond of her, and doesn't want to admit it after all his whining and pouting), and this is evidenced furthermore by the dog treat that falls out of his pocket. Junior jumps at it, and Alexander looks up with a look of defiance. 

"Aha." John's tone might've been serious, if not for the clear struggle of him trying not to laugh.

"Fuck you, I've grown fond of our daughter, Jonathan Henry Laurens."

"My name isn't Jonathan, baby girl."

With that, Alex looks away, hiding his face behind the now sated Junior. _Oh shit._ John never bothered to ask if the nickname bothered Alex or not, which he should have, goddamnit.

"Wait, are you okay with that? Jesus Christ, I'm sorry, that's awful of me to-"

"Shut up, Jonathan, and I'll tell you this once-if you were literally anyone else in the world, I would've murdered you ten times over for using that nickname."

Thank God, but John still had some questions.

"Why are you still hiding behind Junior?" When he said Junior's name, surprisingly, the dog actually shook herself out of Alex's grip, revealing Alex's face-which John was worried about, what if he was crying?

Alexander was in fact, not crying but-

"Are you blushing?"

"Fuck you, no way!"

"Aww, look, my darling boy is blushing. I almost want to get out a camera-"

"Jonathan Henry Laurens I'm about to revoke all nickname rights, shut the fuck up!"

"My name isn't Jonathan!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well!!! it's been like a month and this is what happened because I'm slow as hell. but the second installment is done! thanks for the comments, i'll cya in a month with something that's hopefully less shit and god i hope i'm not being transphobic with the nickname 'baby girl' but alex is very comfortable in his own skin and with his own gender, he's told too many internet trolls to fuck off to not be

**Author's Note:**

> it would not kill you to leave a comment, they really encourage creators. not just for me, but just... comment something nice on the fics you read.


End file.
